Lilith, so called black moon is not only that dark side in all of us. Lilith in its purest form can be very freeing and releasing energy in all of us. If you want to experience „healthy side“ of Lilith, first you have to have your birth chart Lilith in a healthy state. That means, your birth chart Lilith should not be damaged by any harsh aspect (including) conjunction from any of the planets. Only then, if you have easy aspects in synastry with someone, you can experience positive sides of Lilith. Nothing is either good or bad in psychological term, but really, hard contacts of Lilith in synastry are very tough cookie and as relationship develops, no one enjoys this.
So, let´s talk about positive aspects of Lilith in Synastry. Lilith, that bitchy side in us, can actually help us to become who we really are, to become and develop our authentic self. This process of self-discovery is also part of the journey for Lilith. If you happen to have positive aspects of Lilith in your relationship compatibility, it is really planet person who feels this urgue to discover themeselves again. Lilith, very similarly to Pluto, is very much truth seeker (in its purest sense). Lilith person can help planet person to stay truth to themselves, no matter the circumstances. Maybe planet person is dreaming about some other job but worries much that his mother will be upset if he changes the career direction… or planet person wants cut off some of his old friends but worries about their reaction…. Lilith person is here to support planet person to be bold, stand for himself and do whatever he needs to do in order to be happy. Lilith person becomes that trigger for planet person to make that very important but uncomfortable move and stand for himself in whatever area he wants. Lilith person pretty much „forces“ planet person to let go everything what does not serve him anymore, no matter the consequences.
Sometimes we need that push. It is actually work of Lilith to help us. Now – planet person´ planet in soft aspect to Lilith will play significant role about life area of planet person involved. If we have, for instance, Venus trine/sextile Lilith it will most probably be connected to planet´s person beauty, self-worth, abundance. Also, as this is very much generalization in this article, we have to check sign of Venus´s person Venus, aspects of Venus and placement in particular house of Venus person in his birth chart. Only then, we get a clear picture what is really going on. For example, if someone has Venus in Cancer in 10th house, and Venus receives square from Pluto, square from Saturn, here Lilith can help Venus person tremendously in career area. Lilith is here to help Venus to get rid off from all manipulative behavior coming from Venus´s bosses and find her self-esteem and confidence in her career again. Lilith can advice Venus person in career direction, in this case it would probably be something of a service and taking care of others, as Venus is in Cancer but very close to MC, so very visible, public place.
Lilith can become your lost friend in synastry, but only if birth chart requirements are met. I always pay attention to Lilith in synastry readings. Lilith is very powerful, as she really can help you make needed quantum jump in involved area, but with hard aspects can basically damage your life.